When we begin our Spiritual journey, we are prone to the euphoria of finding a place where we belong, the camaraderie of finding others who have the same beliefs we do, and the energy of oneness with the Cosmos. Going to meditation classes, yoga retreats, reading every book you can find, adopting every practice that seems to go hand-in-hand with a specific belief system thinking that it IS the way to get better, all without dealing with the real issues boiling just beneath the surface isn't what Spiritual Enlightenment is all about.
Old traumas creep up, negative thoughts creep in, and old wounds come up through a memory, what someone said or did and we hurry to say a mantra or we run to listen to meditation music or, better yet, do our best to act as if the thoughts, traumas and wounds never existed. We use our belief system to feel good; get high on the feeling of practicing those things that we are told will bring us spiritual enlightenment and conveniently forget that Spiritual Enlightenment is about continuously dealing with the negative so we can be continuously positive. Spiritual Enlightenment is not about eradicating one for the other, it's about balancing the two as much as you can.
Enter Spiritual Bypass.
Spiritual bypassing is a tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks. It is the shadow side of spirituality and is so prevalent that it goes unnoticed in all of its forms. Spiritual bypassing includes overemphasis on the positive, anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous boundaries, debilitating judgment about one’s negativity or shadow elements, devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.
True spirituality is not a high, not a rush,or an altered state. It is a method to be used to work through your personal and spiritual traumas so that you can be the best you can be for yourself first, then to others. We should not be afraid to use our traumas as a tool to assist others who may be experiencing a similar trajectory and we should not be afraid to use our talents as a tool to make the world as colorful, as vibrant and as alive as we can make it.
When we’re immersed in spiritual bypassing, we all love the light that comes with it, but we don't like the heat. We do whatever we can to distance ourselves from the flames.
We uphold the ideal of unconditional love, while at the same time, we refuse to permit love to show up in its more challenging, personal dimensions. To do so would be too scary and too out-of-control, bringing things to the surface that we have long since suppressed.
However, the very idea of suppression, fear and control are the very things that Spirituality wants us to let go of. Fear of what others think, say or do, controlling what others may do/not do and suppressing your or another person's thoughts and actions just to have the upper hand, all go against what spiritual awareness truly teaches us. Spirituality is about work. Hard work. Spirituality teaches us to be consciously aware that we all have flaws and that no one is above or below another with regard to that. If we all worked on our own flaws in order to minimize the impact they have on others, instead of wondering and worrying about what someone else is doing or not doing to work on theirs, imagine where Humanity would be.
Spiritual bypassing is the equivalent of doing busy work that has no real impact at the end of the day. When spirituality is used as a defense mechanism to ward off the darkness and ghosts of our existences, it actually becomes our greatest hindrance, preventing us from developing true courage, authenticity and wholeness. It can trap us in an illusion that all is well, when in actuality, everything is going awry.
Below are some of the most common forms of Spiritual Bypassing. The key is to be aware of which forms you may be using and to stop. Spiritual work requires us to really dig deep and face our flaws, traumas and spiritual weaknesses head on. We must continue to work on ourselves in order to reach true enlightenment.
Types of Spiritual Bypassing
What gives light must endure burning. ~ V. Frankl (Man’s Search For Meaning)
1) The Optimistic Bypass
We’ve all come across people in life who love to laugh and smile, yet seem to be forcefully optimistic. “Focus on the positive!” “See the glass as half full!” “Don’t let a frown get you down!” are some of the phrases used by those who tend to use optimism as a way of avoiding the more somber and troublesome realities of life. The optimistic bypass is often a side product of anger-phobia, or the inability to deal with negative emotions.
2) The Aggrandizement Bypass
This is a type of self-delusion that some spiritual seekers use as a way of masking their perceived deficiencies and insecurities. The aggrandizement bypass is adopted by those who seek to feel enlightened, superior or having reached higher planes of existence. It is sometimes used by self-proclaimed masters, leaders, awakened souls, and gurus.
3) The Victim Bypass
When one becomes a victim of their gifts, or of other people, this takes away the pressure of responsibility for shaping a satisfying life and taking responsibility for one’s happiness – such is the case with the Victim Bypass. This type of spiritual bypassing is often used by spiritual seekers who believe they have extrasensory gifts of some kind, but due to their gifts they are unable to feel happy or healthy. Identifying as as an empath is sometimes a good example of this type of bypassing, as it can be interpreted as other people's emotions/fault for the empath behaving in self destructive and volatile ways.
4) The Psychonaut Bypass
Many spiritual seekers explore the frontiers of the mind, the soul and reality through the use of psychedelic drugs such as LSD, DMT, psilocybin mushrooms, mescaline and other drugs that expand the mind and perception of existence. While this is a fascinating way of exploring reality, hallucinogens, like any other drug, can sometimes be used as a way of escaping reality and avoiding committing to personal development and soulful refinement.
5) The Horoscope Bypass
When we frequently look outside of ourselves for help and guidance, as is with the case with Horoscopes and Psychics, we are failing to tap into our inner wellsprings of wisdom and strength and are allowing external predictions to control the outcome of our lives. The Horoscope Bypass is derived from a fear and mistrust of ourselves, our inability to make decisions, and our inability to deal with anything tough that comes our way.
6) The Saint Bypass
Since we were little we were taught that spiritual people were kind, compassionate and saintly. We continued to repeat this story to ourselves when we ripened into adulthood, and for some of us it turned into our biggest nightmare. The Saint Bypass is a reflection of extreme "black or white" thinking, promoting the underlying belief that spiritual people can’t have dark sides because that would make them “nonspiritual”. This type of bypassing is essentially an avoidance of one’s own Shadow Self by overcompensating with the guise of a sweet, heavenly, exterior. Self-sacrifice is a major symptom of this type of bypassing.
7) The Spirit Guide Bypass
“I have an angel called Raphael who protects me.” In some spiritual traditions it is a God who protects, in others an angel, an animal or an ascended being. No matter who the Spirit Guide is, the belief that they are there to “protect” us is pleasing to the mind, but harmful to the soul. When we place our faith in another being’s power to ward off danger and keep us safe, we are committing a classic spiritual bypass: that being avoiding responsibility for ourselves and our lives, and sidestepping the tough development of courage and resilience. We are not children, but when we think of ourselves as being so, so we mold our lives in such a way that we fail to develop strength of spiritual character. Spirit guides serve to teach us rather than to babysit us.
8) The Praying Bypass
Similar to the Spirit Guide Bypass, the Praying Bypass circumvents personal responsibility by putting faith in a higher being to solve all of our problems and issues. While praying can be a healthy practice, it can easily become limiting and destructive.
In the end, don't get stuck doing the busy work of spiritual growth. Get the sunhat, gloves, pruning shears and garden hoe and start the process of really cleaning your mental, physical and spiritual garden up so that fresh seeds can be planted, nurtured and grown. You can't reap the harvest of true enlightenment if you don't plow the garden of shadow.
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