When it comes to true Spiritual healing, it takes honesty, trust and the ability to want to transform. What I have found is that in order for any healing to happen, we must first look within ourselves. Healing cannot come from an outside source. You see, the subconscious mind tells us how to move through life. It is not the other way around. The conscious mind reacts and does what the subconscious wants you to do. The actions we take against ourselves or towards another is all determined by our subconscious mind. We are programmed from an early age on how to think, feel and act, regardless of whether those inputs are correct or not. More often than not, we are programmed to think, act and feel based on the life experiences of those who came before us. Now, this is not to say that some life experiences have basic action/reaction presets, because the basic components of survival are the same across all lines of life.
However, the majority of traumas we have are based on what others have determined should be. This is predicated on what another person did, thought or said to someone else based on a choice they made or didn't make, thereby, carrying a trauma forward to a new generation. An example of this would be that you have a grandmother who didn't go to college because her mother told her that it isn't worth it because women are supposed to get married, stay home and raise babies. Therefore your mother attempts to make that a reality in your life by telling you the same thing.
If you reject that notion by leaving home and going to school, starting a business, choosing to not get married or have children, there is a good chance that your mother will reject you and your choice and see your actions as a rebellion against her. She doesn't understand that times change and staying home with no viable work skills/education just isn't enough anymore. However, it doesn't stop you from feeling the trauma of rejection because the fact that you want better for yourself is causing you pain and distance from the one who birthed and nurtured you the best way she knew how.
There are several ways to heal self trauma and taking on the trauma of others that ultimately holds you back.
1. Realize That Some Traumas Aren't Yours: Trauma only becomes yours when you experience it yourself. Trauma is personal. The truth is that family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances will try to dissipate a personal trauma by attempting to make everyone they know live it as well. It is o.k. to listen to the stories of others, empathize, and lend support when and where needed, but you must learn from them, and do your best to never take their trauma(s) on as yours.
2. Face Your Own Trauma(s): Now this is where it gets painful-- But if there isn't pain, there isn't growth, right? Take a look at your traumas, whether they come in the form rejection, abandonment, betrayal, mental, emotional or physical abuse--Look at them. Get that mirror and look. If we are hurting on the inside and outside then, we are hurting others internally and externally, as well. You must systematically sift through each of those traumas and determine if it's yours or someone else's. If it's someone else's trauma, then know that you can dismiss it easily because it is isn't yours. It's more of a program that you can reverse the effects of with a change in perspective. However, if the trauma is yours, you must recognize it as such, accept that it happened to you and know that you are not less than because of it. YOU'RE MORE THAN because that trauma serves a purpose (as bad as it may sound). What's the Purpose, you ask? The Purpose is so that you can help others work through it or avoid it entirely. We are here to help others, not just ourselves. When you help others get through a similar issue, you also help yourself heal.
3. Seek Help: If your trauma takes a toll on you, then seek the help of a professional. The very worst thing you can do to stop the Spiritual healing process is to avoid the trauma, bury it and act as if it didn't happen. Everyone's trauma is different, so there is no such thing as a my-trauma-is-worse-than-yours scenario. If someone attempts to make a comparison or dismisses your trauma as insignificant, they are wrong and it only means that they haven't worked through their own traumas. What is traumatic to one person, may not affect someone else in the same manner, if at all. The Universe made you unique and no-one is better than anyone else when it comes to our life paths and the decisions we feel we have to make at any given time.
4. Reprogram Your Mind: Change your perspective. Get to a point where you are able to look at what happened in an objective manner. This means you are able to look at the trauma as an experience-Without emotional attachments. This can only happen after you have been completely honest with yourself. Did you make a decision to do/say something? Did you decide to not do/say something? Was a decision made for you? If the trauma happened when you were a child, are you able to recognize that since you had no control over it, that NOTHING that happened to you is your fault? Are you able to come to grips with the fact that the experience you had will ultimately help someone else? Perspective is a key ingredient. When you move from an emotional response and use a higher sense of reason, the skies clear and you are able to see a clear path to redemption for those who inflicted the trauma on you, even up to and including yourself.
Healing your Spirit is paramount to healing your body and your mind. The Spirit is first because it lives within the body and it wants you to have a life that is free-- Free from pain, free from abuse and free from the control and manipulation of others. Freedom in its truest expression is a Spirit healed with Self love and love for others.
"I love myself...I love you. I love you...I love myself." ~Excerpt, "Desire"- Deepak Chopra
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